Application for dating my teenage daughter

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Your traitorous liberal nephew, your feminist ex-roomate or your free spirited gay cousin might find it, carefully analyze it, then smash into a smoking pile of wreckage in Internet Meme Demolition Derby!!!Our inaugural entrants come in the form of a list and an application. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? _____________SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. A: If somebody shot me, I would sure hope they didn't shoot me in the: ______________________________________________________________B: If somebody beat me up, I would sure hope they didn't break/injure my: ______________________________________________________________C: A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________________________________D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________E. ___________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ______________________________________________________________F. __________________I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TOTHE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESEWATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE._________________________________________________________Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!

Crazy Uncle Liberty downloads some pearls of wisdom from Glenn Beck University? Do kids these days need to seriously pull up their pants, stand up straight, go to church and get off everyone’s lawns? Have parenting advice for all of those people out their doing everything wrong and thus assuring the downfall of our once great society? We have taken the time honored art of standing on a street corner and shouting at strangers and plugged it in to the Information Superhighway! once you set your Internet Meme free, be it inflammatory blog post, snarky hashtag, or pithy Facebook image, it’s no longer under your control.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.

Marine, gathered these rules together from around the Web, updated them a bit and sent them to me. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

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